Colbert identified that almost all People need bans on assault-style weapons and for Congress to take motion to stop extra mass shootings, but nobody on both aspect of the aisle has efficiently stopped them from occurring.
“So, ask your consultant, ‘What is going to you do?’ In the event that they don’t have a solution instantly at hand, if they are saying it’s too quickly to speak about this, meaning they’ve by no means actually given it any critical thought. As a result of they’ve had loads of time since Uvalde and Marjory Stoneman Douglas and Sandy Hook and the Pulse nightclub. So in the event that they don’t have a solution now, they’ll by no means have a solution.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
He expressed disappointment over an absence of latest concepts from lately elected Home speaker Mike Johnson, “a self-professed devoutly spiritual man,” who supplied little consolation to People in a press release throughout his first day in workplace, which amounted to little greater than ideas and prayers.
“We’re already able to hope and prayer ourselves. You’re able to governing, theoretically. And I’m sorry if that seems like too arduous of a job for you. If that looks like too arduous of a job, you already know who’s actually acquired a tough job now? The folks in Lewiston, Maine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And there are only a few folks like Mainers. I do know Mainers. I really like Mainers. They’re sturdy folks. They’ve acquired Moxie — actually, it’s the title of the official state tender drink. It tastes like carbonated cough syrup, however they drink it anyway, ’trigger Mainers are robust. These are folks whose thought of a seashore is a set of jagged rocks close to freezing water. Their state flower, the Maine state flower — and that is true — is a frickin’ pine cone!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And I dare anybody in energy to indicate a fraction of the braveness of all of the households who’ve confronted their tragedies and confronted our failure to vary.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Attending to Know You Version)
“Republicans yesterday elected Mike Johnson the 56th speaker of the Home, which is loopy ’trigger a month in the past, we have been solely at 12.” — SETH MEYERS
“In the meantime, earlier as we speak, Mike Johnson met with President Biden for the primary time since turning into speaker. Johnson is fairly well-known for being an election denier, so it acquired fairly awkward when he stated, ‘Good to fulfill you, ‘President Biden. ’” — JIMMY FALLON
“However the assembly was very pleasant. Biden even invited Johnson to pet his canine.” — JIMMY FALLON